Archive - July 2014

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Age is just…a stage
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How many do you (want to) have?
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The ride

Age is just…a stage

Do these methods of mine work? Sometimes. For a while. Then he’s back to his performing act again. I think he’ll do very well as an actor; he just needs the relevant training to nurture this talent of his. While I do not like these tantrums and deal with them as they happen, I’m happy he doesn’t pull them out in public. If not, he’d be grounded until he’s 60!

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How many do you (want to) have?

I wanted five…or so I thought. Until that fateful long weekend I spent with my dad and two younger siblings sans my mum. After five days of cooking, cleaning and catering to everyone’s need (but mine), the number dropped to four. Until my neighbour’s three children spent 15 minutes with us. At the end of which my beau pulled me aside and asked: ‘How many did we say we’d have again?’ It became 3.5, if that number was possible to achieve. I was experiencing the law of diminishing parenthood. Until I finally had my first and, in the words of a close friend, couldn’t quite see clearly for months to come. When the second arrived, I could safely say I had gotten a hang of my role and responsibilities. Or had I? I don’t know. I learn, every day, on the job. Apparently, the unofficial number to have in Nigeria seems to be three for my generation. I cannot count how many times I have heard friends, family or acquaintances say: ‘I’m ready for my third child.’ ‘It’s time to have the third one.’ ‘This is the third and last one.’ Then again, I know couples whose third child was an accident. They aimed for two and landed at three. How did this odd number become the unspoken right one? Who made that decision? Does it have anything to do with setting up committees with an odd number member count so as to prevent an even number deadlock? But there are exceptions to this rule. Two male cousins each with five children…for now; one of whom cited the committee reason for having that number. My gal pal with ‘finally, the fifth and last one has arrived!’ My colleague and friend who terms herself as mother –in-Israel with her four children. All fitting perfectly with my mother’s ideal. ‘Four children is the government approved number’, she claims. Really? Seriously? I doubt that the government is aware of my existence, not to mention the fact that I’m married with children. Having grown up in a large family of ten (step siblings inclusive),”more

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The ride

The entire trip is a whole process for him, one in which he is completely involved. From opening and closing the car doors after he has climbed into the car to securing the lock (and winding down the windows, if necessary). First phase over. Next is the scenery along the way that commands a steady stream of commentary which is quite difficult to ignore in that sharp, clear, small – pitched voice of his.

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