Archive - June 2017

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G.L.i.B-bed: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
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June in review: Almost
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Mummy, is that your friend?
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To the tie – rrific parent
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G.L.i.B – bed: Longthroat Memoirs

G.L.i.B-bed: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

In the early 2000s, a book with this post’s title was quite popular amongst the single ladies within the organization I worked. The thrust of its contents was expounding on the differences between the genders, how both are wired differently by nature and proffering ways to live with these variances in the relationships we forge with the opposite sex – as friends, partners, lovers, parents, siblings, etc. Understanding the woman’s need to talk (she actually has an estimated number of words to speak daily!) and the man’s immediate tendency to solve any problem once she starts (putting his solution/thinking cap on). The man’s nature to deal with one problem at a time and the woman’s effortless, multi – tasking makeup. The man’s sense of direction (or lack thereof if you consider his resolute refusal to ask for directions in unfamiliar surroundings) and the woman’s inability to read a map (especially one she’s holding upside down!). It made for an interesting, humorous and revealing read. So much so that like New York, I read it twice. And promptly forgot about it thereafter. Until last month in a bookstore and browsing its offerings from shelf to shelf, I spied a book with[…]

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June in review: Almost

Despite June commencing on a beautiful note – reading on course? Check. Writing in progress? Check. Workout routine on track? Double check – the combination of dreary weather, everyday rain and an unexpected bout of sore throat quickly turtle-slowed down my momentum. Save for just one routine, I almost made the perfect score I aimed for this month. And after meticulously planning my writing schedule for June (and beginning and continuing with a bang), I almost avoided scrambling to meet up with my target number of posts per month. Almost. But almost, like Brandy Norwood sang, doesn’t count. So those are counts against me. Or are the standards I set for myself impossibly high? Cut yourself some slack, girl, it wasn’t all doom and gloom (like the weather) this month. Noteworthy and not a near – miss were the two books I consumed in four weeks or less, comfortably reaching my a-book-a-fortnight goal for the first time in months. Hurray! Then there was this 30 – day, water – only challenge I set for myself in June which was hugely successful; smack in the middle of juices, sodas, shakes and loaded ice cream cups I bought for my beau and[…]

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Mummy, is that your friend?

Yesterday, while reading some parenting tips on WhatsApp, I kept waiting for the age – old warning: Do not talk to strangers. At the end of the list of 30 or so items, it was nowhere to be found. In these very uncertain times of kidnapping, abduction, hypnotism and more of the aforementioned that we live in? I tell my children in different forms and every day: Do not talk to strangers. I’m almost tempted to add: Be weary of those you’re familiar with because who know man, na im dey kill am still holds strong in these present times. But I am in a conundrum with this instruction. Here’s why: How do you tell your children not to talk to strangers when you’re indulging in the very same act at least three to five times daily with these children as visual and verbal witnesses? Or are there different rules for children and a whole complete set for adults? Or are adults too wise and experienced to be abducted, kidnapped, hypnotized? Ha! I will do well to remember that parenting is leading essentially by example and less, oh much less, of words. So, when I tell T one thing and[…]

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To the tie – rrific parent

It was a day like this when Wana Udobang penned something in the lines of ‘You’re more than just an ATM’ to you. I’m just here to reiterate (and expound on) her words. Every offspring of yours has half of your goodness, your passions, your uniqueness. The support – emotional, moral, spiritual – you willingly offer to your significant other can never, ever be rounded off into monetary value. Your presence, quirks, nuances and why you’re absolutely loved by that woman, those children are huge parts of what accounts for your true worth. You’re your son’s first hero; your daughter’s first love. You have a beautiful calling. Your children call you, dad. Your wife calls you [insert appropriate sweet, syrupy endearment here]. And God calls you His – His son. Made in His image. After His likeness. One of His finest creations (The woman is His finest!). And today, we celebrate all that makes you amazing – finances included. Happy Father’s Day!…to you and all the other wonderful dads out there.

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G.L.i.B – bed: Longthroat Memoirs

234next.com, the online newspaper which ceased to exist in 2011, will always have a special place in my heart. Here are the two reasons why: It published one of my article’s in its Sunday Elan Edition (not my first though, but this reached a bigger audience. Elan’s in print form, and the article also appeared online), and, most noteworthy, it gave me more access to Yemisi Aribisala’s way with words. Men of God as Superstars was an article by her in Farafina Magazine. My first introduction to this writer and her unique style. I read that article over and again. Then 234next.com came along. With its variety of writers among whom was…who did I see? Were my eyes playing tricks on me? It was Yemisi Aribisala allright. Writing about food, using the most unexpected, hunger-inducing terms to describe a condiment, relate a Nigerian swallow type and generally stir, furiously, the appetite in me while attempting to meet my timelines on a bright workday morning. She had me devouring, drooling and salivating over her scribblings and her content. And for one whose interest in food and its preparations bordered on necessity at the time, I looked forward to her weekly posts[…]

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