Author - idolor

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The Bet
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The Smack of Love
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Do you know what today is?

The Bet

‘He won’t!’ ‘He will!’ ‘He can’t!’ ‘He can!’ ‘You want to put your money where your mouth is?’ ‘Do you?’ ‘How much?’ ‘Enough’. ‘You’re on’.   She walked into the room with a slight frown on her brows, shortening the distance between them. The room was buzzing quietly with activity as people moved leisurely from one side of it to the other – garbed up in all sorts of attires that did or did not befit the occasion. Music, low and soft, emanated from an electronic device barely visible. It was complimented by the human voices that were hardly above the sound. All of this she noticed in one slow turn of her head as she walked further into the room. A waiter bearing a tray appeared at her elbow and a slight shake of her head answered his unspoken question. He hovered around hoping she’d change her mind but she calmly walked away and positioned herself at the bar, leaning an arm against it. She looked around again, as though in search of someone, and wondered what she was doing here. She hardly knew any of the smiling faces in the crowd except her friend,Ese, who had invited her[…]

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The Smack of Love

First, she’d grab your ear and twist it. The pain from this made you bend forward and downwards, involuntarily, giving her uninterrupted access to your back where her elbow came crashing down, WWF – style, seconds later. One minute you were standing beside her, the next you were in a fighting ring prone on the floor; your ear ringing, your back on fire and birds circling your head. My eldest brother had a different approach. Pretty much consistent like his mother. Once, I described it to a friend and his remark was: ‘Sounds like someone who attended a federal secondary school.’ He did. And his was a unique brand imported from Federal Government College, Kano. One sharp, unexpected slap on one cheek began the process. Instinctively, you covered the stinging cheek with your hand. The second slap hits the next cheek before you get over the first. Of course, totally unexpected too, and stunning you with its impact. It is with shock that you cover the second cheek with your other hand and, depending on how strong you are, tears are either running down your cheeks or clouding your vision; your face downcast. The third and final slap tilts your[…]

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Do you know what today is?

I haven’t slept properly in six years. Through no fault of mine, though. Then again, maybe it is. I decided to go down this route of companion and carer, consequently losing sight of what a good (night’s), sound sleep felt like. Meanwhile all around me, peaceful, uninterrupted, shut – eye take place. I hear the rhythmic rise and fall of it when I make certain, in the middle of the night, that one of my bedfellows is not kicking the other, unconsciously. Their snooze positions are comic material; think a labourer after a very hard day’s work. I’m a wide – eyed witness to it in the loud, broken – down- trucklike version from my beau which keeps me awake most times. And I can’t help stopping by some yellow -faced relative of mine, on my way to a late night bathroom run, as he sleeps sprawled on the sofa in the sitting room. He looks so serene in repose, and what the heck happened to his room? Enough sleep -dropping already. I didn’t sign up for this. And while I’m well aware of what this institution entails, I just don’t think lack of consistent, required, renewable, standard sleep hours[…]

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