I don’t like cigarettes…and I like to smoke!

cigarettes _fig. 4

Me: I’m an early bird, early riser, and wake – up – before- dawn kind of woman.

Him: T has a pajamas top with the inscription: ‘I don’t do mornings.’ Now that aptly describes my beau.

Me: That’s why I’m a dreamer. Everything’s so nice when I’m dreaming. Visions in my mind when I’m dreaming. I feel like dreaming all the time. I’m the dreamer. I love to build crystal clear, perfect castles in the air. A modern day Joseph-ine, that’s me.

Him: He. Is. My. Reality. Check!

Me: I hear a story and take it at face value.

Him: Hears the same story…analysis, paralysis

Me: I can plan one, two, six months ahead.

Him: lastminute.com

Do opposites attract? Or are men and women different because they’re supposed to be? Y’know, the Mars and Venus concept. My beau and I have had different life experiences which add up to make us whole, complete individuals. These experiences make us very different from each other in our approach to love and life. It is how we handle these differences that matter, not the differences themselves. That’s why I do the morning school run with the children.

Me: I love to be prompt, on time, never late. Early, early, early.

Him: African time specialist; he does a grand, fashionably late entrance quite well.

Me: Old – fashioned, traditionalist, apply the rules, follow the process.

Him: Operates in the new age. Rules were made to be broken. If not, why were they made in the first place?

Me: I don’t  suffer fools gladly.

Him: Gives second, third, even fourth chances with rope enough to voluntarily hang yourself by yourself.

Me. ‘Organizer of the Year.’ I could win that award. I love things in their proper place, everything and everywhere arranged neatly, and the world’s at peace.

Him: This trait of mine drives him up the wall! Not that he’s messy or anything like that but he doesn’t mind a little disarray here or there as long as it’s not unhealthy.

We’re not like two magnets coming together. No. We’re more like puzzle pieces fitting: some things are alike, some are opposite, and they complement each other to fit together. He is the yang to my yin or vice versa, and together we bring the matching parts that truly balance each other out. Individually, we’re movements but together, we’re a force. We make each other better.

Me: Enjoy a film without thinking about the next action.

Him: Is the director, casting director, producer, script writer as he predicts the plot to its conclusion, comments on the appropriateness of the cast (or lack thereof), queries some action sequences and dialogue, categories the film as a no-budget one, etc. ona ki ji okpetu ovo?  Can we just watch the film, please?

Me: When I have friends over, we’re all conversing.

Him: When his friends are around, he holds court.

And after sharing the same living space for almost a decade, it is only natural that we have begun to influence each other (there’s also the part of looking alike after a while. Ahem…I wish not to discuss that right now because I’m thinking: WHO will look like WHO?); our differences a positive opportunity for personal growth. I still dream but temper them with doses of reality. My beau’s increasing pockets of silence when we see a movie together is commendable.

The old adage of opposites attract may have some truth to it but I don’t think my beau and I are opposites. Different? Yes. And differences create excitement.











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